ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize