Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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