Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
His hands were made for my vagina.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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