Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
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The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
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Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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