Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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