I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize