I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize