you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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