ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize