she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize