I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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