dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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