we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Boobs speak an international language.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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