I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize