I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Drunk is not a location!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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