I'm really into asian looking animals
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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