I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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