So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize