i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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