Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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