these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
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I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
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