I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm like, not good at living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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