I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize