When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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