Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize