I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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