just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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