Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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