The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we made out on top of his cat.
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i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
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I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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