please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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