Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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