I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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