Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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