one two three fourrrrnication!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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