I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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