I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
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random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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