in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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