omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize