Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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