508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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