belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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