you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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