the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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