I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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