Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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