Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize