Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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