Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize