She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize