Duck Duck Cougar?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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