I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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